


TF29 Shenanigans

by space_trashlord



Category: Deus Ex - Fandom, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Genre: It'll get explicit one day, Multi, Pacifist!Adam, Strip Tease, Strip Teasing as a distraction, This is basically me shitposting and I love it, Till then enjoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 18:30:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8295773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_trashlord/pseuds/space_trashlord
Summary: The shenanigans of TF29, AKA: Why Jim Miller Shouldn't Take Shots When TF29 Surprises Him, AKA: Adam Jensen, Professional Piece Of Shit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Blame inbatcountry17.tumblr.com . They have great headcannons and I read them and got talking with them and now I can't not write about my babies.

If Jim had managed to actually go through with his promise to take a shot every time TF29 fucked with his head, he’d either be a complete alcoholic, or dead from alcohol poisoning. He’s wasn’t quite certain yet.

This, however, took the cake thus far.

Johann Schmidt, an ex-Army German man with a criminal record longer than he was tall, had managed to take control of an old hotel near Prague. His very existence in Europe had Chang jittery and anxious. The second the old hotel had been taken, Chang had basically screamed bloody murder. It took a trip to Auzenne to convince him not to change all the passwords, and within the hour the Higher Beings had told Miller to take out the insurgents.

Adam had left the team’s side before they’d even gone through the second set of doors, jumping into a vent and flipping off Halliday as he went, disappearing into the darkness like a shadow himself.

The team made their way through the main halls, and down towards the entertainment sector of the hotel, filled with stores, restaurants, and a casino. An elevator barely large enough to fit them all allowed them access to the area, and of course, led them directly into Schmidt’s trap.

“Well… Fuck.” Mac murmured helpfully, gun clattering to the ground as he tried to glare in the direction of the sniper aiming at his heart. Aria huffed, placing her gun down in front of her with care, petting the steel as thought to reassure it that everything would be alright.

“Where’s Adam?” she hissed as she got up.

“Not a clue, but likely close, knowing him.”

“He’s making his way through the vents above us. They lead to the room behind them, back there.” Mac nodded to the vents above, the grill opening to reveal Adam’s head for a moment, the man shaking his head before replacing the grill and likely continuing forward.

They were completely surrounded. Or at least cornered. The elevator that had taken them down no longer functioned, the lines had been exposed long before they arrived, and shot out as soon as the elevator had reached the bottom, leaving the squad with no escape route.

“You will drop your weapons,  _ now _ .” Schmidt commanded, tapping his foot impatiently.

After a moment of grumbling, everyone was relieved of their guns, hands raising to their heads to prevent Schmidt’s team from shooting at them.

A grill opened up behind the enemy sniper, and suddenly the sniper jerked, hands flying to his neck, clasping and clutching at an invisible force before he fell into unconsciousness. Adam decloaked where the man stood, and looked around for any more snipers before disappearing once more.

“Distract him for me.” Adam chuckled over the comms. “I got an idea.”

Miller nodded. “So Schmidt, you have us cornered. What now?”

“I will question you, of course. Then you will die. Why have you come here?”

“Isn’t that a bit useless though? Why would we tell you the truth if we’re going to die?” MacReady rolled his eyes at Schmidt.

“You have people you love? I will find them, hurt them.” Schmidt spat.

“I sincerely doubt you’ll find him without him wanting to be found, mate.” Mac snorted, head tilting.

Adam popped out of the vent nearest two more of Schmidt’s men, MacReady’s head pointed directly at him as he knocked the two men together and pulled their unconscious bodies into the vent with him. 

Schmidt remained unaware of the joke.

Schmidt began to rant, arguing ethics with himself, describing moral debates he’d put himself through up to this point. No one acknowledged what he said, instead staring with wonder as Adam popped in and out of vents, knocking out people all over the room, before leaving only Schmidt himself.

Adam made a motion for them not to attack Schmidt yet, and left the area, moving quietly towards one of the shops and entering.

A few minutes filled with Schmidt’s incessant rambling, Adam returned, removing the cloak from himself to reveal several more layers of clothing.

Slowly, sensually, he began to move with a panther’s grace, eyebrows waggling suggestively as he began to take off the gaudy fur coat, revealing another coat and a pink feather boa beneath.

Piece by piece, augmented by obnoxious movements and use of the clothing, Adam revealed a bra he had managed to fit around his armour.

Halliday’s hand flew to his mouth, fingers pressing his tongue down as he breathed in a gasp of air. Murphy punched him as hard as she could, assisted by Jenkins and Donahugh in stopping the man from wolf whistling at Adam.

Adam’s shades flew away to show his eyes rolling into his head, and helped solidify the impression of an orgasm across his face.

Aria and Miller lost it simultaneously, forcing the rest of the team into laughter. MacReady fell to the floor, clutching his ribs, tears streaking down his face.

Schmidt raged at them, howling his fury and demanding they take him seriously.

Adam waited for the laughter to die to remove the bra, revealing nipple tassels that almost immediately fell off of the armour, and the team began to laugh again, coughing and spluttering as they struggled to catch enough breath to remain conscious.

Adam’s own laugh joined theirs, and moments later Schmidt fell to the floor unconscious from Adam’s TESLA augmentation.

**Author's Note:**

> http://inbatcountry17.tumblr.com/post/150675203156/deus-ex-tf29-headcanons  
> http://inbatcountry17.tumblr.com/post/150772552376/tf29-headcanons-pt-2
> 
> Read them, they're super good.


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